When someone important or close to you dies, it is one of the most difficult things to experience. It’s complicated and hard, but it’s something everyone goes through at some point.
You might feel that no-one understands how you feel, including your family and friends. It can make you feel alone and like you cannot talk to anyone.
How you might feel
Grief is different for everyone, and there’s no right or wrong way to feel.
It's a strong emotion that can mean you feel lots of different things.
Feeling lots of different emotions when someone dies is normal. You may also be unsure about how you feel, and there is no right order to feel things.
You might feel:
- anger
- shock
- sadness
- guilt
- relief
- numb
- alone
All of these feelings are natural, and you might feel some or all of them. And with time, they start to feel less intense.
Your culture, family, or community might affect the way you grieve. And you might do it in different ways to other people and at different times.
If someone has died suddenly, you might struggle to believe it has happened, and this can last for a long time.
Talking about it
Dealing with grief takes time and it can make you worry about other things you might not expect. You might worry about your own health or someone else’s or feel sad when you don’t expect it.
Talking about someone dying can feel uncomfortable, or you feel like no-one will understand.
It is important to try and talk about it, when you are ready, and it can make you feel better. You might just want to talk about the person who died, or how you feel in general.
You can always talk to a family member, your carer, a teacher, a doctor, or a friend that you trust.
Other ways grief can affect you
You might find that you’re doing things differently, and it might be that you are struggling to cope.
You might be:
- missing school more often
- pushing your friends or family away
- spending more time on your own
- enjoying things less than you did before
Grief can make us feel physical things too like:
- headaches
- a sore stomach
- difficulty sleeping or sleeping more
- changes to how much you eat
If you are worried and feel like you are struggling, or if other people are worried about you, and want some professional support, like counselling, there is help you can get.
Ways to get help
If talking to someone you know does not seem to be helping, there are other ways to get support.
Your school might offer a counselling service, or you could talk to your doctor who could help get you support. There are specially trained counsellors who might be able to support you.
Your parent, carer or social worker might also be able to find local support.