A tangled up piece of string

Recognising an unhealthy relationship

A relationship is something that should make you feel happy and respected. A relationship can be romantic, one in your family, or a friendship. 

A relationship is healthy when you are valued and trusted. 

Healthy relationships are based on:

  • good communication
  • mutual respect
  • everyone being treated equally
  • being able to be yourself

Identifying an unhealthy relationship

There might be things in your relationship that are going well, but there may also be other signs that make you feel insecure, or uncomfortable, like:

  • getting comments about your appearance
  • being abused physically or verbally
  • not being in control of your own money
  • not being able to go out without your partner getting jealous
  • feeling pressure to do things you do not want to do
  • not feeling in control of your life

If you have low self-esteem it can be harder to notice these signs and you might:

  • be more critical of yourself
  • compare yourself to others
  • think other people are better than you
  • not feel like you are good enough

Talking about it

You might feel confident enough to help yourself and discuss issues with your partner or friend. Or it might make you nervous about how they will react.

Whatever the case, it’s worth making a plan that means you are safe.

To help you get ready to talk about things or end your relationship, you can:

  • pick a public place to talk in person, plan what you want to say, and be clear about what you want
  • take someone with you
  • think about what to do after and how to get home safely
  • tell people you are having this meeting
  • contact the police if you feel in immediate risk

If you do not want to meet in person, you can do it by letter or text.

Getting help 

You can always talk to an adult that you trust and tell them what is going on.

If you need to talk to a professional, you can search our services, or there is other help available.

relationships • talking